Cafe Church April 2008



If someone does something wrong in their life, do you shut the door on them totally?
Rio Ferdinand, 25/3/2008

In Britain, America and Switzerland, those who were punished accepted they were in the wrong. But in Greece and Russia those who were punished sought revenge.
Science, 7/3/08

It really doesn't matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on.
Real July 7, 2003

To understand everything is to forgive everything

Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.
Oscar Wilde

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

And if your friend does evil to you, say to him, ''I forgive you for what you did to me", but how can I forgive you for what you did to yourself?
Friedrich Nietzsche

Most of us can forgive and forget; we just don't want the other person to forget that we forgave
Ivern Ball

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything before you go to bed
Ann Landers

To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.
G K Chesterton

Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself —and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.
Leo F. Buscaglia

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Emo Phillips

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Mahatma Gandhi

Men forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget.
Anon (obviously)

No man ever loved like Jesus. He taught the blind to see and the dumb to speak. He died on the cross to save us. He bore our sins. And now God says, 'Because He did, I can forgive you.'
Billy Graham

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven.
Lord Herbert

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Colin Powell (paraphrased from It's much easier to apologize than it is to get permission. - Admiral Grace Hopper)

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future
Paul Boese

Forgive many things in others; nothing in yourself.

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.
Cherie Carter-Scott, " If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules"

If you haven't forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others?
Dolores Huerta

To err is human; to forgive, infrequent.
Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960)

'Tis the most tender part of love, each other to forgive.
John Sheffield

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Josh Billings (1818 - 1885)

Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives.
Lawana Blackwell, The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark, 1999

Forgiveness does not always lead to a healed relationship. Some people are not capable of love, and it might be wise to let them go along with your anger. Wish them well, and let them go their way.
Real July 7, 2003

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (1973) "Personal Conduct'

A woman can forgive a man for the harm he does her ... but she can never forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on her account.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965), The Moon and Sixpence.

Forgiveness is the healing of wounds caused by another. You choose to let go of a past wrong and no longer be hurt by it. Forgiveness is a strong move to make, like turning your shoulders sideways to walk quickly on a crowded sidewalk. It's your move.
Real July 7, 2003

Pray you now, forget and forgive.
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), "King Lear" Act 4 scene 7

No one forgives with more grace and love than a child.
Real Live Preacher 02-15-06

The hatred you're carrying is a live coal in your heart - far more damaging to yourself than to them.
Lawana Blackwell, The Dowry of Miss Lydia Clark, 1999

They who forgive most shall be most forgiven.

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
William Blake

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
Lewis B Smedes

Life is an adventure in forgiveness.
Norman Cousins (1915- 1990)

Papers - abstracts

Interpersonal Forgiving in Close Relationships Michael E. McCullough National Institute for Healthcare Research
Everett L. Worthington, Jr. Virginia Commonwealth University
Kenneth C. Rachal Ball State University

The development of forgiveness in the context of adolescent friendship conflict in Korea
Park Y.O.; Enright R.D.
Journal of Adolescence, Volume 20, Number 4, August 1997 , pp. 393-402(10)

Gender Differences in the Relationship Between Empathy and Forgiveness
J Soc Psychol. 2005 December; 145(6): 673–685.

Effects of a group forgiveness intervention on forgiveness, perceived stress, and trait-anger
Alex H. S. Harris,
Frederic Luskin,
Sonya B. Norman,
Sam Standard,
Jennifer Bruning,
Stephanie Evans,
Carl E. Thoresen
VA Palo Alto Health Care System and Stanford University
J Clin Psychol 62: 715-733, 2006.

Kathleen A. Lawler,
Jarred W. Younger,
Rachel L. Piferi,
Rebecca L. Jobe,
Kimberley A. Edmondson
and Warren H. Jones
Department of Psychology, University of Tennessee,
Journal of Behavioral Medicine 1573-3521 (Online) Issue Volume 28, Number 2 / April, 2005

Wade's Forgiveness Scale. (1989)

TV & Movie clips

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