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I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.
Demetri Martin
There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family."
Jerry Seinfeld
What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public.
Vilhjalmur Stefansson
The time has come, the day has arrived. Let not the buyer rejoice nor the seller grieve, for wrath is upon the whole crowd.
Ezekiel 7:12 (New International Version)
Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.
Bobby - age 7
A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.
Franklin P. Jones
I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.
Tammy Faye Bakker
I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."
Stephen Wright
Peter answered: "May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money!
Acts 8:20 (New International Version)
If men liked shopping, they'd call it research.
Cynthia Nelms
On the one hand, shopping is dependable: You can do it alone, if you lose your heart to something that is wrong for you, you can return it; it's instant gratification and yet something you buy may well last for years.
Judith Krantz
If you sell land to one of your countrymen or buy any from him, do not take advantage of each other.
Leviticus 25:14 (New International Version)
Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
Erma Bombeck
The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.
Marcelene Cox
Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.
Will Rogers
You must not lend him money at interest or sell him food at a profit.
Leviticus 25:37 (New International Version)
Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.
Bo Derek
Wretched excess is an unfortunate human trait that turns a perfectly good idea such as Christmas into a frenzy of last-minute shopping-or attaches the name of St. Patrick to the day of the year that bartenders fear most.
Jon Anderson
With this money be sure to buy bulls, rams and male lambs, together with their grain offerings and drink offerings, and sacrifice them on the altar of the temple of your God in Jerusalem.
Ezra 7:17 (New International Version)
Consumers have not been told effectively enough that they have huge power and that purchasing and shopping involve a moral choice.
Anita Roddick
I don't shop because I need something, I just shop for shopping's sake.
Cat Deeley
A consumer is a shopper who is sore about something.
Harold Coffin
I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.
Revelation 3:18 (New International Version)
A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing.
Author Unknown
Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?
Rita Rudner
Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.
Matthew 21:12 (New International Version)
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
Erma Bombeck
A bargain ain't a bargain unless it's something you need.
Sidney Carroll
Credit buying is much like being drunk. The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift.... The hangover comes the day after.
Joyce Brothers
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
Steven Wright
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Dave Barry
The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.
Mad Magazine
Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
Author Unknown
But it is a cold, lifeless business when you go to the shops to buy something, which does not represent your life and talent, but a goldsmith's.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
"It's no good, it's no good!" says the buyer; then off he goes and boasts about his purchase.
Proverbs 20:14 (New International Version)
Every increased possession loads us with new weariness.
John Ruskin