Cafe Church March 2009



Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner

It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem.
Malcolm Forbes

The best way out is always through.
Robert Frost

There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.
Alice Thomas Ellis

"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
Matthew 19:9-11 (New International Version)

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
Margaret Mead

When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'
Rita Rudner

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years.
Cathy Ladman

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
Lynda Barry

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney

At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.
Matthew 22:30 (New International Version)

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

There was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.'

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say,
-- talk in your sleep.

She and the girls went into the hills and wept because she would never marry.
Judges 11:38 (New International Version)

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for Patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'

Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.
1 Corinthians 7:1 (New International Version)

All's fear in love and war

Two widely used ending relationship quotes are "I just want to be friends," which is generally used by the ladies, and "this relationship is not moving fast enough," which is generally used by the gentlemen.
Wendy Pan

Man is a knot into which relationships are tied.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade.
Leo Buscaglia

Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
Henry Winkler

People change and forget to tell each other.
Lillian Hellman

Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers.
Mary Tyler Moore

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.
Wayne W. Dyer

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
Joyce Brothers

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.
Rita Rudner

But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
1 Corinthians 7:28 (New International Version)

All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
Lord Byron

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Friedrich Nietzsche

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
Mignon McLaughlin

Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in?
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.
Robert C Dodds

I now think of marriage like I think about living in my home state of Minnesota. You move into marriage in the springtime of hope, but eventually arrive at the Minnesota winter, with its cold and darkness. Many of us are tempted to give up and move south at this point, not realizing that maybe we've hit a rough spot in a marriage that's actually above average. The problem with giving up, of course, is that our next marriage will enter its own winter at some point. So do we just keep moving on, or do we make our stand now - with this person, in this season? That's the moral, existential question we face when our marriage is in trouble.
Bill Doherty

All weddings are similar, but every marriage is different.
John Berger

Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.
Joseph Barth

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
Oprah Winfrey

As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will your God rejoice over you.
Isaiah 62:5 (New International Version)

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
A.A. Milne

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