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We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs.
Gloria Steinem
There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.
Jack Yelton
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
Errol Flynn
Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.
Author Unknown
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Mark Twain
They who are of the opinion that Money will do everything, may very well be suspected to do everything for Money.
George Savile, Complete Works, 1912
I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
Louis Agassiz
There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either.
Robert Graves
When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
John Wesley
The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.
Author Unknown
Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.
Cree Indian Proverb
The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.
Mad Magazine
I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money.
Pablo Picasso
No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.
Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life.
Michael Leboeuf
There are people who have money and people who are rich.
Coco Chanel
Money is a headache, and money is the cure.
Everett Mámor
This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
Douglas Adams
Mammon, n.: The god of the world's leading religion.
Ambrose Bierce
It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy.
George Horace Lorimer
"Your money, or your life." We know what to do when a burglar makes this demand of us, but not when God does.
Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
Sam Ewing
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bob Hope
Business is the art of extracting money from another man's pocket without resorting to violence.
Max Amsterdam
Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn't expect to be paid back.
Author Unknown
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Author Unknown
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Robert Orben
Money is neither my god nor my devil. It is a form of energy that tends to make us more of who we already are, whether it's greedy or loving.
Dan Millman
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Earl Wilson
Then some soldiers asked him, "And what should we do?" He replied, "Don't extort money and don't accuse people falsely-be content with your pay."
Luke 3:14 (New International Version)
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen
I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves.
Joe Louis
Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.
A.A. Latimer
Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells.
J. Paul Getty
We may see the small value God has for riches, by the people he gives them to.
Alexander Pope, Thoughts on Various Subjects, 1727
Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there's no such thing as exactly enough.
Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.
Albert Camus
When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.
Voltaire
Women prefer men who have something tender about them - especially the legal kind.
Kay Ingram
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer.
Author Unknown
Money often costs too much.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste.
M.W. Harrison
They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; and I deem them mad because they think my days have a price.
Kahlil Gibran
Do not charge your brother interest, whether on money or food or anything else that may earn interest.
Deuteronomy 23:19 (New International Version)
I'm so poor I can't even pay attention.
Ron Kittle, 1987
If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil.
Henry Fielding
It frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx
We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules.
Buzzie Bavasi
There are several ways in which to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
Robert Benchley
Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
H.L. Mencken
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.
Oscar Wilde
The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters.
Jean-Paul Kauffmann
I am having an out of money experience.
Author Unknown
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Aristotle Onassis
Money is much more exciting than anything it buys.
Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.
Oscar Wilde
For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
1 Timothy 6:10 (New International Version)
Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale.
Zig Ziglar
Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
Henry Wheeler Shaw
People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.
Doug Larson
October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.
Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar for 1894
Few are aware that they want any thing, except pounds schillings and pence.
Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827
I wish I'd said it first, and I don't even know who did: The only problems that money can solve are money problems.
Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
He that wants money, means, and content is without three good friends.
William Shakespeare
If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one.
George Gobel
A man is usually more careful of his money than of his principles.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., speech, Boston, 8 January 1897
Inflation is taxation without legislation.
Milton Friedman
Lack of money is the root of all evil.
George Bernard Shaw
Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table, 1857
If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
Henry Ford
A woman's mink coat represents the sacrifice of a lot of little animals, including her husband.
Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Money doesn't talk, it swears.
Bob Dylan, "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)"
The best way for a person to have happy thoughts is to count his blessings and not his cash.
Author Unknown
If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion.
George Bernard Shaw
If the nation's economists were laid end to end, they would point in all directions.
Arthur H. Motley
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W.C. Fields
By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out.
Author Unknown
That money talks
I'll not deny,
I heard it once:
It said, "Goodbye."
Richard Armour
Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else. Same with money.
Satchel Paige
"No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."
Luke 16:13 (New International Version)